. . Seeing the world through a kalidescope . .

Havent blogged for a long time, due to the laziness and lack of motivation to blog. But felt kindof down and thus decided to write it out.

Have been having certain things on my mind, all which are kind of disturbin to my puni little mind.

Started year 2 and isnt exactly very smooth sailling. Got a module where we learn about how human error, be it an engineer or the pilot, can result in an accident tt can be fatal. Becuz of this module, it has been constantly buggin me, with the fact that i may "kill" 200 people if i slack on my job. The thought not only scares me, its eating into me. Thus i have thought if i should maybe change my course. If i change now, that leaves me with a year of not doing anything, as i have to wait a new academic year to start a new course. If i quit after i fin my year 2, its doesnt make sense becuz i wld have only 1 year left and i rather fin my diploma.

Secondly, its matter of the heart. Decided to go for someone only to realise that im too late. Someone had started his "pursuit" just a few weeeks before me. That sucks!!! Was just too slow. Haiz, this kind of is the last straw as now im really super duper non motivated to study.

Dunno what to do now. Well for sure is life has to go on. got so much crap to do and need to start doing it soon.

I need motivation!!! Still dunno what i should do. Should i just quit school, doing that will just get me fried by my parents tts for sure. Shld i just forget about her and concentrate on my studies??? So many questions, so little answers.